Another one...

"... some things aren't any good unless they're shared. Sitting up all night would be pointless if somebody you loved wasn't sitting up with you, picking out music to play and helping you kill the bourbon. Walking by yourself in the rain is for college kids who think loneliness makes poets."

-Peter S. Beagle. A fine and private place.-


And another:

"...Why sould love be remembered any longer than any of the others?'
'Because we need it more', he said. 'Because without it, there is nothing left of us. Loving each other, we last a little longer before we forget even that we lived once. Knowing ourselves loved makes us almost human for a little time."

-Peter S. Beagle. A fine and private place.-

Just a little synchronicity for today...

Just some words from my friend Shannon Leto that somehow rang a bell inside of me:

To change it takes a decision based on faith; faith takes forgetting everything you thought you knew...S.L.

This hurt...

"... That kind don't kill themselves. They live in hope, waiting for a phone call, or a telegram, or a letter, or a knock on the door, or running into someone on the street who will see how beautiful they really are. They think about killing themselves, but then they might not be able to answer the phone."

-Peter S. Beagle. A fine and private place.-

It kind of reminded me of a part of me. That's so sad...

About Life...

I just talked on the phone with one of my best friends. She told me about how a couple of guys broke into the clinic she works on when she was alone, and how they beat her up and tried to choke her to death with a cable. They even didnt took the money, they just stole a laptop... She survived and she's doing pretty well, all things considered.

I am not going to talk about the fucked up human beings that did that to her. Or about all the madness and craziness we are living in or the hatred and fear that seem to be the core of our society. I want to talk about Life. I want to talk about Love. I want to talk about how much I love her and how scared I was that I almost lost her... in just one second. And how I believe that no matter how miserable and evil a person might seem, that person is just trying to repair himself, and doing the best he can do with what he has.

It is funny... what I felt mostly when I was talking to her was this strange sensation that started to spread from my heart to my chest and all of my body... and I realized that it was Love. Love for this life that is so fragile and precious, for this instant, for the air that I am breathing, that keeps me alive... this breath of life that is like the tides, like the waves...

And I remembered this:
"...it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life..."
-American Beauty-

I realize now that I've been letting the routine and the everyday life take the Magic away from me... How right Jung was when he talked about synchronicity. My soul is stirring after a long time of numbness. I am waking up again now. I can feel how Life is returning to this desolate land I've been walking on somewhere inside of me.

It's time to reconnect. Time to wake up.

Oh, not again...

You've honestly got to be kidding me. Again? We are going through the same fucking thing again? Come on!!! LEARN godammit!!! Stop doing that!!! So much drama... just stop acting like children...

I am not a part of you, I'm not one of your limbs. I am a separate individual who, really, has things to do. Nothing's going to happen if I can't go! GOD!!! *frustrated sigh*

A sigh from the soul...

Our story isn't making me happy anymore :( In fact, it's just making me feel more miserable *sigh* It isn't supposed to do that...

Exactly the way I've been feeling...

Staind - Pardon Me

I'm one stop from a breakdown
Two steps from being safe
Just try to see this through

I'm three steps from this nightmare
And four steps from the door
The rest is up to you

Pardon me while I just turn my back and walk away
Pardon me if I can't listen to the things you say
Pardon me if I can't fake it while you still believe
Pardon me

I'm one step from forgiveness
And two steps from my grave
We're all just passing through

Three steps from redemption
Four from the devil's door
On a path that leads to you

Pardon me while I just turn my back and walk away
Pardon me if I can't listen to the things you say
Pardon me if I can't fake it while you still believe
Pardon me

Pardon me while I just turn my back and walk away
Pardon me if I can't listen to the things you say
Pardon me if I can't fake it while you still believe
Pardon me

I'm two steps from salvation
But i'm only taking one
Pardon me