I should write more often. It would be good for me. To shape all my fire and dreams and storms into words and weave a spell of language with them.
My inner landscape is far too overwhelming to keep it hidden and locked within me. It could destroy me, drive me crazy, if I don't let it flow through my eyes and mouth and fingers onto a page or space outside myself.
It has driven me crazy sometimes... I let it take hold of my mind and burn it, burn across my whole body until sorrow and despair is all my cells know. But there is always light behind the darkest hour and peace waiting at the edge of the battlefield...
And I am always there, at the center, watching. The Witness, with nothing but compassion on my face... And the Witness never forgets that this is just a game...
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
...
Una orden resuena dentro de mí:
"¡Escarba! ¿Qué es lo que vez?".
"Hombres y pájaros, agua y piedras".
"¡Escarba mas profundo! ¿Qué es lo que ves?".
"¡Ideas y sueños, fantasías y relámpagos!".
"¡Escarba más profundo! ¿Qué es lo que ves?".
"¡No veo nada! Una noche muda, tan espesa como la muerte".
"¡Escarba más profundo!".
"¡Ah! ¡No puedo penetrar la división más obscura!
Escucho voces y llanto, escucho el revoloteo de alas en la otra orilla".
"¡No llores! ¡No llores! ¡No están en la otra orilla...
las voces, el llanto y el aleteo son tu propio corazón".
~Nikos Kazantzakis
"¡Escarba! ¿Qué es lo que vez?".
"Hombres y pájaros, agua y piedras".
"¡Escarba mas profundo! ¿Qué es lo que ves?".
"¡Ideas y sueños, fantasías y relámpagos!".
"¡Escarba más profundo! ¿Qué es lo que ves?".
"¡No veo nada! Una noche muda, tan espesa como la muerte".
"¡Escarba más profundo!".
"¡Ah! ¡No puedo penetrar la división más obscura!
Escucho voces y llanto, escucho el revoloteo de alas en la otra orilla".
"¡No llores! ¡No llores! ¡No están en la otra orilla...
las voces, el llanto y el aleteo son tu propio corazón".
~Nikos Kazantzakis
Friday, April 9, 2010
I write so as not to lose my mind
Online social networks (one in particular, actually) have taught me many things about human nature. I have learned how far people can go to feel something, even if they know it’s not real. How they can turn on each other over a fantasy and spit poison through their words and actions. How completely crazy they can get over fake things, so crazy it becomes scary to watch their reactions. And all of this over online situations and persons. Even characters.
But, most of all, I have discovered some things about my own nature that I’m not completely comfortable with. I’ve caught glimpses of the abyss and stared in shock at what I am capable of too. The funny thing is, it also fascinates me to discover that other side of me who is not who I thought I was. It scares me sometimes though.
It rings truer now that I write so as not to lose my mind. My head can be hell sometimes; hell and chaos made of a hundred voices speaking at the same time, thousands of emotions boiling inside of me, sometimes so tangled up that it’s hard for me to know what belongs to whom. Because my characters are real for me, in a way. And, boy, do they want attention. And some of them are more fucked up than I will ever be... Or are they?
Does a person like me have what it takes to be a therapist? I somehow doubt it. My mind works in mysterious ways and what fascinates me so much about Psychology is not exactly helping others. I even think characters fascinate me more than real people, in general. I don’t really care anymore what that says about me.
Until next time, silent (and probably non-existant) readers.
But, most of all, I have discovered some things about my own nature that I’m not completely comfortable with. I’ve caught glimpses of the abyss and stared in shock at what I am capable of too. The funny thing is, it also fascinates me to discover that other side of me who is not who I thought I was. It scares me sometimes though.
It rings truer now that I write so as not to lose my mind. My head can be hell sometimes; hell and chaos made of a hundred voices speaking at the same time, thousands of emotions boiling inside of me, sometimes so tangled up that it’s hard for me to know what belongs to whom. Because my characters are real for me, in a way. And, boy, do they want attention. And some of them are more fucked up than I will ever be... Or are they?
Does a person like me have what it takes to be a therapist? I somehow doubt it. My mind works in mysterious ways and what fascinates me so much about Psychology is not exactly helping others. I even think characters fascinate me more than real people, in general. I don’t really care anymore what that says about me.
Until next time, silent (and probably non-existant) readers.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Don't leave me yet...
"'Aren't we running out of time?' he asks. His voice is so quiet, I feel I should lower mine so as not to break him.
'No,' my eyes fill with tears and I speak more forcefully than I intend, 'we have all the time in the world, Dad.'"
-Cecelia Ahern, Thanks for the Memories-
'No,' my eyes fill with tears and I speak more forcefully than I intend, 'we have all the time in the world, Dad.'"
-Cecelia Ahern, Thanks for the Memories-
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
A post from Mraz I want to share with you.
"Top 5 Conversations Worthy of My Commitment in 2010
# 5: Buy Local or Die: I Will Support Natural & Organic Food Sources
Did you know that processing one pound of meat requires 5000 gallons of water? Did you know that 1 cow used to produce fast food and grocery store ground beef requires 35 gallons of oil (1 barrel) to support it’s force–fed life? Did you know that cows are natural herbivores (grass grazers) and are force fed corn feed, cow parts and other animal bi-products to speed up the process to where they are fat enough to be slaughtered? Did you know that for a cow to not die in this process, a cow that sleeps in its own manure, is pumped full of antibiotics and other drugs to stay “healthy?” The chemical waste of a cow is no longer suitable as fertilizer as it would kill the plants. Cow piss is toxic and of course floats downstream throughout the food chain in all forms, one way or another, to us. When you buy this meat, you are supporting a Military’s action for oil in the Middle East. You are supporting pharmaceutical companies as well as the unethical and environmentally hazardous treatment of the only home we have. Buying quick and easy meat is like biting the hand that feeds you. Modern industrial agri-business is THE #1 contributor to the dying world.
It doesn’t just stop in the beef business. Every kind of processed food that comes from a factory farm is a derivative of genetically modified corn – the growing and manufacturing of which destroys soils, covering ground with chemical fertilizers made up of ammunition seeping downward, polluting the water table, or evaporating into the air causing acid rain and adding more heavy metals to the overheated global climate crisis.
Pretty much all of the food not found in the produce section of a grocery store has no nutritional value. You’d be better off eating cardboard. Even our non-organic produce puts up with a lot of bad juju before it ever leaves the farm. This is why I choose to live on raw, organic, live or concentrated foods (powdered foods i.e. from Healthforce Nutritionals and Sunrider Brands.) Even farmed fish are forced to eat corn and are also pumped full of medicine to ensure it survives the journey (somewhat) to your dinner plate.
There is another story here about the kind of dinnerware we use. Are you using Styrofoam or Plastic Plates and Cups? Because only the most arrogant of Kings would use synthetic table settings just once before throwing them away. The more we use them, the less safe our soil and seas are as these materials fail to biodegrade adding, yep, more toxic uh-oh to our ground, river, and drinking water.
Last centuries’ ideas for efficiency (created to keep companies like McDonalds and our Military thriving) have screwed farmers and only fattened the now cancer haunted consumer. In the new decade ahead, we either boldly adopt new practices or bravely continue down the path to forgive and forget and hope that what we eat doesn’t kill us.
In addition to raising your voice about global health and environmental concerns, YOU CAN VOTE WITH YOUR FORK. The way we consume WILL dictate where and how our food is grown. Our role can be the greatest in the food chain if we pause and say a blessing once in a while, acknowledging the food itself and those who grew it, packaged and delivered it, making it safe and possible for you to eat.
If we all shifted our attention back to grass-fed meat, we would be supporting farms that participate in a natural turning of land, from sunlight to grass, grass to proteins, protein to fertilizer, rinse and repeat. Not to mention, we would be treating our divine bodies better.
Buying organic produce makes a powerful statement about how you prefer your food grown - by people, without the use of chemicals. The Best Fertilizer is a Farmer’s Footsteps. And the best place to stock your kitchen is your local Farmers Market where you can actually talk to the farmer and his wife.
This Year I Resolve to Buy Local, to Buy Organic, and to lend my voice and practices to the Family Farmers who need us."
For more info, check out his blog: http://freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.com/
You won't regret it.
# 5: Buy Local or Die: I Will Support Natural & Organic Food Sources
Did you know that processing one pound of meat requires 5000 gallons of water? Did you know that 1 cow used to produce fast food and grocery store ground beef requires 35 gallons of oil (1 barrel) to support it’s force–fed life? Did you know that cows are natural herbivores (grass grazers) and are force fed corn feed, cow parts and other animal bi-products to speed up the process to where they are fat enough to be slaughtered? Did you know that for a cow to not die in this process, a cow that sleeps in its own manure, is pumped full of antibiotics and other drugs to stay “healthy?” The chemical waste of a cow is no longer suitable as fertilizer as it would kill the plants. Cow piss is toxic and of course floats downstream throughout the food chain in all forms, one way or another, to us. When you buy this meat, you are supporting a Military’s action for oil in the Middle East. You are supporting pharmaceutical companies as well as the unethical and environmentally hazardous treatment of the only home we have. Buying quick and easy meat is like biting the hand that feeds you. Modern industrial agri-business is THE #1 contributor to the dying world.
It doesn’t just stop in the beef business. Every kind of processed food that comes from a factory farm is a derivative of genetically modified corn – the growing and manufacturing of which destroys soils, covering ground with chemical fertilizers made up of ammunition seeping downward, polluting the water table, or evaporating into the air causing acid rain and adding more heavy metals to the overheated global climate crisis.
Pretty much all of the food not found in the produce section of a grocery store has no nutritional value. You’d be better off eating cardboard. Even our non-organic produce puts up with a lot of bad juju before it ever leaves the farm. This is why I choose to live on raw, organic, live or concentrated foods (powdered foods i.e. from Healthforce Nutritionals and Sunrider Brands.) Even farmed fish are forced to eat corn and are also pumped full of medicine to ensure it survives the journey (somewhat) to your dinner plate.
There is another story here about the kind of dinnerware we use. Are you using Styrofoam or Plastic Plates and Cups? Because only the most arrogant of Kings would use synthetic table settings just once before throwing them away. The more we use them, the less safe our soil and seas are as these materials fail to biodegrade adding, yep, more toxic uh-oh to our ground, river, and drinking water.
Last centuries’ ideas for efficiency (created to keep companies like McDonalds and our Military thriving) have screwed farmers and only fattened the now cancer haunted consumer. In the new decade ahead, we either boldly adopt new practices or bravely continue down the path to forgive and forget and hope that what we eat doesn’t kill us.
In addition to raising your voice about global health and environmental concerns, YOU CAN VOTE WITH YOUR FORK. The way we consume WILL dictate where and how our food is grown. Our role can be the greatest in the food chain if we pause and say a blessing once in a while, acknowledging the food itself and those who grew it, packaged and delivered it, making it safe and possible for you to eat.
If we all shifted our attention back to grass-fed meat, we would be supporting farms that participate in a natural turning of land, from sunlight to grass, grass to proteins, protein to fertilizer, rinse and repeat. Not to mention, we would be treating our divine bodies better.
Buying organic produce makes a powerful statement about how you prefer your food grown - by people, without the use of chemicals. The Best Fertilizer is a Farmer’s Footsteps. And the best place to stock your kitchen is your local Farmers Market where you can actually talk to the farmer and his wife.
This Year I Resolve to Buy Local, to Buy Organic, and to lend my voice and practices to the Family Farmers who need us."
For more info, check out his blog: http://freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.com/
You won't regret it.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Sweet Darkness
When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.
When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.
Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.
There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.
The dark will be your womb
tonight.
The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.
You must learn one thing:
the world was made to be free in.
Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
Sometimes it takes the darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.
~David Whyte~
[Thank you for sharing this with me, brother. I love you.]
the world is tired also.
When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.
Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.
There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.
The dark will be your womb
tonight.
The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.
You must learn one thing:
the world was made to be free in.
Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
Sometimes it takes the darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.
~David Whyte~
[Thank you for sharing this with me, brother. I love you.]
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