Online social networks (one in particular, actually) have taught me many things about human nature. I have learned how far people can go to feel something, even if they know it’s not real. How they can turn on each other over a fantasy and spit poison through their words and actions. How completely crazy they can get over fake things, so crazy it becomes scary to watch their reactions. And all of this over online situations and persons. Even characters.
But, most of all, I have discovered some things about my own nature that I’m not completely comfortable with. I’ve caught glimpses of the abyss and stared in shock at what I am capable of too. The funny thing is, it also fascinates me to discover that other side of me who is not who I thought I was. It scares me sometimes though.
It rings truer now that I write so as not to lose my mind. My head can be hell sometimes; hell and chaos made of a hundred voices speaking at the same time, thousands of emotions boiling inside of me, sometimes so tangled up that it’s hard for me to know what belongs to whom. Because my characters are real for me, in a way. And, boy, do they want attention. And some of them are more fucked up than I will ever be... Or are they?
Does a person like me have what it takes to be a therapist? I somehow doubt it. My mind works in mysterious ways and what fascinates me so much about Psychology is not exactly helping others. I even think characters fascinate me more than real people, in general. I don’t really care anymore what that says about me.
Until next time, silent (and probably non-existant) readers.
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