I have forgotten what is was like when the smell of wet earth made me happy... when all it took to make me smile was to watch the rain fall down or stand under the trees at night and let the breeze sway me with them...
I have forgotten a lot of things because I stopped believing... I dont believe anymore and it has been many years that I've felt this way. And now that I want to believe again... no, it's not that i "want" to believe... now that I NEED to believe again I can't; a knot is tied around my heart like a prison with thorns and it crushes my chest everytime I feel something close to hope or love or light... and it won't let me breathe... and it has turned my life into a terrible ocean of dark and strong undercurrents where there's no light nor air nor a single moment of peace... and I can't find the way out.
I'm drowning in myself... I have lost myself...
Maybe I should stop holding on so hard and let myself fall deeper into darkness... maybe there I will find my light, on the other side...
No comments:
Post a Comment